Rose's POV
There was a heavy dark blanket crushing me. It was suffocating the life out of me and I couldn't shake it off. I just wanted it to finally crush me so I could be at peace. Then someone found me I guess and people were talking and trying to bandage me. I could feel it but it wasn't helping. I was irritated: why weren't they taking the blanket off of me? They weren't taking the blanket off of me but holding it at bay. The dark heaviness of it was no longer crushing me but them and eventually they would have to give in and let it crush me. Why wouldn't they just let me die?
Then Iggy was screaming at me and all my determination came flooding back to me. I braced my hands against the full weight of the crushing object and destroyed it. I used my healing powers on it until it was no longer there. I woke up to a tugging on my hair and a strong, warm hand holding mine. I wanted to say something more but all I did was I babble and Iggy told me everything was going to be ok.
They tried to help me to my feet but I was so weak and I became frustrated with my weakness and had to fight back tears. Iggy caught me and Max carried me to the bathroom. She stripped me of my bloody clothes and just set me in the tub with the water streaming down on me. Once most of the red water had gone down the drain and the small water o the floor of the shower was only a murky brown Max began scrubbing me with soap and Nudge washed my hair. Nudge wasn't very gentle but it felt good to be clean again.
My wings were horrible. They rinsed the blood and grime out of them but they scrubbed so hard some of my feathers came out. I didn't have the energy to argue. Nudge started crying so MAx told her to leave. She continued to wash my wings for the longest time. When Max was finally done she helped me dress in a dark blue t-shirt two sizes too big and gray sweat pants. She pulled me hair back into a pony tail and then she kneeled in front of me. She then spoke to me for the first time, "Thank God you're ok." She smiled and I smiled back.
"We missed you Rose, we thought you were dead. We tried not to talk about you, it was too painful. Especially for Iggy. And when you came here looking like you'd gone to Hell and back I was so scared we'd got you back just to lose you" Max was nothing if not honest. We broke into a fit of laughter. I hope she didn't notice I was crying and laughing.
I tried to walk out on my own but stumbled a few times. MAx stood nearby but didn't move to help. She understood. I had to believe I was strong or I would crumble. In our crazy messed up world you're either a weak experiment or a surviver. I had to believe I could face anything alone and win because I was raised for so much of my life alone. Max felt similar feelings and understood but I don't know to what extent. She had always had the flock and the flock had been taken away from me when I was young.
I slumped into a chair in the kitchen and Iggy brought out the food. In my still sick state I forget what we had. Iggy sat next to me and held my hand for the entire meal. I sat in the chair that probably should have been Fang's. The younger kids chatted about my 'amazing healing powers' and the older kids wisely avoided the elephant in the room. I got sick of the tension and just asked. "I'm just gonna' come out and say this: where the Hell is Fang?"
Everyone was silent and everyone turned to look at Max. She pushed away from the table and fled to her room. I cringed at the sound of her door slamming.
"We just go her to drag herself out of bed," groaned Nudge.
"Don't feel bad, it's not your fault. Fang left recently and everyone's still getting over it," said the super model like boy who said his name was Dylan. My heart sank. "Fang and Max were um..." he cleared his throat and a painful expression crosse his gorgeous face. "close and Fang felt they were distracting to each other and so a danger to the flock. He left to protect the flock." His tone was indifferent.
The rest of the conversation was awkward and almost non existent. At the end of dinner Iggy hadn't spoken one word but what he didn't say meant so much. He loved me and was bursting with joy and relief. He offered to help me walk to the guest room but I said no. He didn't understand like Max had but he obliged.
I fell into a deep sleep and woke up at almost the exact time I went to sleep so I was a little confused until I realized I had slept for twenty four hours. My stomach grumbled. I tiptoed out of my room ate three bowls of cereal and went outside. I stood on the porch slash roof of the house and looked over the dark landscape. My wings were almost healed but I wasn't sure if I could fly. I couldn't afford to be land bound.
I spread my wings and remembered when they were powerful and strong. No tears and no regrets I thought. Those words had gotten me through some of the toughest times.
Angel's POV
I was playing with Total in the dark. He hid and I tried to find him and with his black fur it wasn't easy. Suddenly I could sense thoughts near by that weren't all that familiar. I tensed and Total bared his teeth and growled. Then I remembered: Rose. Her mind was difficult to read. It was swirling with lots of emotions and thoughts all at once. I pushed at the edge of her mind gently and I was in.
She was hurt and close to tears. All the hurt built up inside her made me tremble. I pushed through the woods until I was at the edge watching her. She jumped off the roof and tried to fly but suddenly she would clutch her side or her wing or her head and fall to earth. And then Rose would go back up to the roof and try again. She was so sad and angry with herself that I didn't understand how she wasn't crying. I know tears were streaking down my cheeks. It was awful to watch. I wanted to look away but I couldn't escape it.
I need to be able to fly. I am meals on wheels with out it. I have to be able to fly. No tears, no regrets. No...no tears thought Rose.
I couldn't and still can't quite grasp what was so awful about the entire scene. I think it was the hollowness that Rose felt. She felt so alone and empty yet so full of hurt. Rose was a shell of a bird kid. She felt so trapped and it was just sad. Sad. No other word for it.
I was lost in the horror of it all when I realized I wasn't alone watching her. Every other member of the flock was there taking it in. I reached into their minds and found similar churning emotions within them. Iggy was a little confused so I pushed some vague images and descriptions of what was happening into his head. Whoosh. I couldn't blink or even hear it in his thoughts before he had grabbed Rose's wrist right before she leaped again.
Rose struggled against Iggy but he wrapped his strong arms around her fragile body. She was no match for him and she let the tears spill down her cheeks. Iggy whispered in her ear and I could only hear it by straining my ears and listening to Iggy's thoughts.
"I know why you're doing this," he said "You feel like you need to be strong so you-" She resumed her struggle just then.
"You know nothing about me!," she screamed "I-I am absolutely alone and you will never understand that!"
"You're right and you're wrong," said Iggy raising his voice. "I will never understand being completely alone but I think every bird kid has felt alone at one time. Especially me with out being able to see." She was silent so he continued "You're wrong because you were alone and now you're not anymore."
We all waited as that sunk in. She collapsed into Iggy's arms; finally letting herself give in to help. She smiled and I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding in. She half laughed half sobbed into Iggy's shoulder as we all gathered around her. Iggy stroked her hair and we all patted her on the back. Dylan let tears flow down his face. He understood her pain so well but didn't. He had never had family and she had had it and then lost it leaving her bitter. I don't know how long we stood like that but we all held each other until the tears stopped and still we didn't move.
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